Until now, (and I’m 58 at this writing) I didn’t really give much thought as to what middle age would be like. I’ve just tooled along in life, and suddenly find myself almost sixty! (When did that happen?) I may be eight years late in this recognition, but I’ve always been a late bloomer. Anyway, I’m nigh on 60, and let me just say, middle age isn’t at all what I thought it would be.
I figured my husband and I would be planning a happy retirement and life would be smooth sailing until we hit “old age” like age 90 or something. Now that’s really old. But that’s not at all what has happened.
My former husband and I talked a little about retirement, but it was usually around what he wanted to do. He had it all planned out. He’d sell our house, buy a small house on the beach, and spend his days paddle boarding and his nights jamming with his buddies. (He played the drums in a rock and roll band, recreationally). He even had a car picked out for himself. A convertible Mustang. It all sounded great… for someone else, but not me…
Because of our differences, I put off thinking about what our future would be like.
One day I turned around and Brooke was a Freshman in high school! When did that happen? I was so busy working, being a mom and keeping all the plates spinning, I was literally shocked when I realized she’d soon be graduating high school.
Because I was so busy, I put off thinking about what life would be like when Brooke left home.
And then there was my work. Because I ran and still run my own business, I could call the shots regarding whether to work, or retire, and where I wanted to put my attention. I had built a nice small business, but things had changed considerably after the recession, and to be frank, I’d lost my mojo. I knew, if I tried, I could get it back in time, but I really wanted to try something new. I just didn’t know exactly what.
Because I still had projects on my desk, I put off thinking about what I might want to do and kept pursuing work that no longer excited me.
Finally, there was my health. Things weren’t terrible, I was up and around, but something had been wrong for many years, and no one seemed to be able to diagnose it. Doctors came and went, most treating symptoms but not the underlying cause. It was time to get serious and figure out what was going on.
Whether I liked it or not, life was changing, and I wasn’t completely prepared for it. Strike that: I wasn’t prepared at all for the changes building like storm clouds on the horizon.
My husband and I made the decision to end it after 25 years of marriage. I am a middle age divorcee.
My daughter did go off to college.
And I did start a new business: this blog. What a learning experience and adventure blogging has been.
I reconnected with all sorts of cool things such as my love of fashion and beauty. I love crafting and DIY. I let go of a few things, like cooking. I used to be a good cook and loved the challenge, now…not so much. I’m happy with a quick peanut butter sandwich!
When I was growing up, people in their sixties seemed so old (heck there was a time when I thought 30 seemed old!) Adventure and change seemed long behind them. They had grey hair, funny hairstyles and wrinkly skin, and couldn’t possibly enjoy romance.
I don’t have much grey hair yet, and a little wrinkly skin–I don’t look that much like an old person, though things have certainly changed. Middle age turned out to be full of adventure, change, good times and bad, and even a little romance. The thing most young people don’t really understand is that although our outsides have changed, and we’ve gained a vast amount of experience, our insides haven’t changed. We still long for adventure, and experience life’s ups and downs. We want to love and be loved, and a little romance is a good thing, every now and then…and I still love to shop and find cute things.
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It’s amazing how similar we are. Lots of ya go they similar experiences. We are a fierce tribe…us ladies! Love your blog!
Oh Cindy! Thank you so much for stopping by!!! I love your photos on Instagram! Soooo Beautiful! I’ll have to stop by and check out http://www.middlesisterstyle.com!!!
We are a new generation looking at ageing in a new way. We are definitely not our mothers’ in attitude or energy. When I remind myself of my age..it seems unreal to me. I stay active, keep learning and take good care of myself. I let go of things I automatically used to do and look for what I really want to do.
I enjoyed this insight. My ex husband had plans too. He was going to have a lavender farm. NOw, i just think I am no where near ready to be ‘retired.’ There’s too much to do to be a retiree, quite yet.
https://www.muttonstyle.com/
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This phase of life definitely is an adventure and not at all what I thought it would be. I’m so glad you said that about cooking. I used to be in the kitchen nonstop baking and making everything from scratch. Now I hate to be in the kitchen! Haven’t had a PB sandwich in a long time. 😉
Hey Pam! Thank you for stopping by! I saw your posts on Facebook and love your blog! thank you so much for stopping by!
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Hi Nina!
I guess I never really thought about what middle age would be. I would hear my dad talk on the phone, when I was in my 20s, to my aunt about this as ailment or to that, think I ng health problems we’re something you discussed in middle age. Never thought of other things I would be thinking about at this stage! Thx for this topic!
Jess xx
http://www.elegantlydrressedandstylidh.com
I always thought it would sort of be like that too, except my dad was older and stayed very active until his late 70’s when he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. As I look at his life, he really didn’t slow down until then.
It take courage to change. You did it. And it was the right thing for you. You seem to be happier than you had been before.
Live every day Nina and enjoy every moment as you are doing…xxx
I love this post, Nina! Middle-age isn’t what I thought either. It’s been vastly better and more exciting. Good for you for a fresh start and new adventures, on all fronts!
OXOX
Dawn Lucy
https://fashionshouldbefun.com
Overall I think midlife and retirement have been what I expected, other than my husband getting cancer. But I still enjoy the things I always have. I think midlife is finding what works for you and going with it.
I really didn’t know what to expect until it all sort of hit me, but thats apparently how I am. My former husband was diagnosed with cancer and passed away. Completely unexpected, as he had always been very, very healthy. Mid life has given me many gifts, which I didn’t expect either…so I guess it all works out in its own mysterious way.
I think age is all relative. I know people that are in their 60s that do things like a 20 year old. I think that you can be happy at any age and deserve it!
http://www.mylittlenest.org
I agree! Thank you so much for stopping by!
I was thinking something so similar the other day. I just turned 60 and while I may look different, I don’t feel all that much different inside.
I know what you mean! We do look different, but we’re really not…but everyone thinks we are…so strange. Anyway. Thank you so much for stopping by Pam
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Really enjoyable post: good to see such a positive response to something we all must face (the alternative isn’t great!). Embracing the challenge of it all. #BlogCrush
Thank you Enda! Hey, I’m going to enjoy my life as much as I can. You never know what’s around the corner!
Nina, I hear you on all of this! And I guess I am really just dipping my toes in the middle age thing at 44 years old. But I do long for adventure and fun and romance and excitement and change more than I ever did when I was younger. And it is so amazing to have the wisdom of my years to enjoy the ride that much more. And what exactly is it about cooking…I used to love to cook as well and am now quite satisfied with a granola bar and a banana! My husband does most of… Read more »
Thank you so much for featuring my post to your readers. This middle age thing…we change and yet we are the same. We blossom and grow and then bam…menopause…and we blossom again…there will be romance and adventure and so much more…Enjoy those little guys and that handsome husband of yours. I saw him decked out with his uniform, you must be so very proud. Hugs, Nina
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[…] of Sharing a Journey shared her insightful post, Middle Age Isn’t At All What I Thought. I can totally relate to so much of this post. If you are approaching middle age, already in it, or […]
Thank you so much for featuring me this week! The wedding looked like a lovely event. It was fun to see your boys.
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Oh I love this post! I am in my early thirties so I love the life lessons you unpack to beautifully here. I love that you give me hope for the future – that I don’t have to have everything sorted now and that I can keep on learning and growing and having adventures.
And someone loved this post so much, they added it to the BlogCrush linky! Congratulations! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂 #blogcrush
Wow! Thank you Lucy! Such an honor to be shared in your blog crush linked! I’ll definitely stop by and check it out! Life is pretty great Lucy—and though it’s not always easy, its worth it to learn, grow and share. Hugs, nina