Last year, I wrote a piece asking “Am I too Old for This?” The lead photo was of me in a navy and white fit and flair dress I wore only for that photo. I had purchased the dress the year I divorced my husband, it fit well and had a modern, yet classic vibe. Something about it just didn’t feel quite right, which lead me to wonder if it was “age appropriate”. You can read the post Here.
In fact, I had begun asking that question about number of looks I was considering for my wardrobe that season. A white ruffled, off shoulder sun dress, a floaty boho maxi dress and a number of bright printed tunics. I had started to realize that something had changed, and though I could wear any of those looks, I wondered whether they were “me”.
In retrospect, the question I asked, “Am I too old for this?” was completely wrong. I should have asked, “Does this suit the woman I am now?” Which leads to an even more important question we need to ask ourselves, every so often: “Who am I now?”
That season, I was in the midst of huge internal change. I was divorcing, my daughter was a sophomore in high school and was moving further and further from the nest. I had more free time on my hands, was in the midst of healing, and discovering new things about myself and life in general.
Just in case you were curious: life continues to be full of change, even after the age of 50—which I think comes as a shock to us and is a complete mystery to our younger counterparts. And yet, the essence of who we are at heart stays the same, so it’s easy to continue wearing styles we’ve always worn, even though it no longer reflects the wholeness of who we are at this point in our lives.
How to Dress your Age:
If you are like me, you’ve derived fashion inspiration from magazines, store displays and television. But with few women in their middle years represented, and even fewer who share my sensibilities, I have found little real guidance from these sources in my middle years. And, I’m not one to follow rules that make no sense. You can read Read 4 Rules to Break After 50 Here.
As I was going through this latest bout of changes, I began noticing more tell tale signs of my age—and didn’t want to be that older woman who looked youthful from the back but who, when she turned, around was an old lady and her clothes seemed incongruent with her appearance—although that fear seems silly now—if she is feeling the ruffled floral sundress, why shouldn’t she wear it? Over this past year of blogging and working on a variety of campaigns, I’ve begun to think about my age, ageism in general, and my personal style very differently.
How to Dress your Age: The clothing we choose should telegraph or reflect who we are today.
our style should not be a function of how old we are or what others deem appropriate for someone our age. The thing that triggers me most is that our age even comes up in the discussion. If we curated our wardrobes based on looks that resonate and reflect our inner world, and we ensure proper fit and what works with our lifestyle, why would “age appropriate” clothing even be a part of the discussion?
I’ve noticed that our generation tends to want to follow the crowd more so than my daughter’s generation. We prefer not stand out too much. We don’t want to show up and be judged harshly so we seek direction and clues from what we see around us, which can lead us to clothing and styles that are stereotypical for “mature” women.
As I ask the question, “who am I now?” I get better feedback as to my own signature style. I am emboldened, and more experimental. I have come to appreciate that others come to different conclusions and I really love it when someone steps out of the box and let’s their unique personality shine through—especially when they make completely different choices than I would. To find your signature style, you just do you, find clothes that “fit” and resonate with you, you can’t go wrong. Here’s a post on how to be a Fashion Icon .
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I love your style and I agree that we should wear what makes us feel good and to heck with the rules! Not everyone has the same style and that is what makes the world so fun and interesting!
Cheryl
http://www.northwestmountainliving.com
I agree that we should wear what makes us comfortable. I dress to suit myself but I do feel I am aware of being “age appropriate”.
Nina,
You definitely have a great style!
As for age appropriate, it’s up to the woman to love how she looks and feel confident.
I am not a “costumy type” of woman but I enjoy the women who dress outside of the norm, if you know what I mean.
I love seeing your style every week!
Hugs,
Robin
I love your style you look fabulous. I adore that long blue floral dress, it’s very stylish and very pretty. Jacqui mummabstylish
“Does this suit the woman I am now…” I LOVE that. If you feel confident and happy in an outfit, then you’re golden!
I hope you’ll add this pretty outfit to On Mondays We Link Up!
–Roxanne
http://glassofglam.com
I think that you are so elegant and chic that you donàt have to worry about wearing age appropriate clothes!
XO
Miri
https://currentlywearing.com
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Yes! I love the rephrasing of the question to “does this reflect who I am now?” I do think it’s important that our clothing be appropriate, but appropriate to WHO we are, not necessarily to HOW OLD we are. I love this post. And, as usual, you look gorgeous!
Thank you Kay! I just took a quick gander at your blog it’s stunning–I hope you are linking up with us on Fridays–everyone needs to get to know you!
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Well Nina, even in my 70″s I also am surprised at all the life changes and all that I am so fortunate to be doing because we used to think that 70 was elderly! Tons has to do with our attitudes on aging which certainly how we dress is a factor. I have a Pinterest board titled No Fifty Frumps that says all that I need to say on my attitude on dressing appropriately…..:)
So thrilled to have you here! My skating buddies are mostly in their 70’s and 80’s believe it or not! I absolutely love them, and they’ve got all kinds of great stuff going on in their lives–I don’t know what “old” is any more, except in how people act. Hugs, Nina
Nina I totally agree with you…does it reflect the woman I am now? I usually work it out from these questions. Do I feel I look good in it? Am I comfortable wearing it? Does it make me feel good? Now I can add yours.
Hi Nina
I really love all of these outfits you posted, the red is so gorgeous on you. I agree where I think change is going to happen, and we need to represent ourselves as we change in life. I don’t really think of age appropraiteness, , but as you said, does it represent the woman you are ‘now’. insightful!
Happy Easter!
thanks for linking!
jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
It’s always such a pleasure to stop by your blog and see your gorgeous outfits, photos and posts! Happy Easter–see you next week on your blog!
I’m with you Nina! Wear what you like and feel confident wearing! No one will ever dictate to me what I should or shouldn’t wear!
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These are really interesting thoughts about women and age and styling. There are a lot of pressures from society (and even our family and friends sometimes) to look a certain way, but I try to live by this one fashion rule: If you like it, wear it! It’s not as easy as it sounds sometimes, and even I change what I wear based on what I’m doing or who I’m with, but I try not to let age be a factor.
-Kristin
countdowntofridayblog.com
That’s such a perfect way to look at it, Nina!!! And I do think we evolve over time and so should our style!!
XOXO
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
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I’m so glad you brought this up. There’s a sentiment among many bloggers over 45 that we should wear what we like and it somehow implies veiled criticism of those of us who still want to look age appropriate, without looking frumpy. I get annoyed when newspapers/magazines use stereotypes when they talk about older women, and how we are rarely featured wearing fashionable clothes or makeup, but on the other hand, our fellow sisters can pile the pressure on too.
Well said. I cringe every single time someone uses the phrase “age appropriate”. I think clothing is very personable and people should wear what they feel good in, what they like, and what looks good on them.
I love your way of rephrasing the question to whether it suits you now. I feel age-appropriate clothing varies from person to person—it’s al about wearing what makes you feel good.
Cheryl Shops | http://www.cherylshops.net
It’s a question I wrestle with too. What feels right to me now? How do I want to represent myself now. My answers seem to change daily. You look terrific in the blue flowered dress. Great picture.
Nina, this is such a great post! I feel like my style choices change and evolve every single year. In my three years of blogging, I can look back and see just how much it has changed in that short period of time. I was much more conservative when I began blogging and now I take many more chances. But this idea of “age appropriate” comes at me every day now that I work in retail. I hear it all the time from mature customers…”but can I wear this? Aren’t I too old for this?” That’s all they need to… Read more »
Hi Nina!
My site has been down 5 days, so I am here now and glad to be back on-line! I love all of the outfits you posted, you look wonderful. i always wear what I want, what makes me feel confifdent, sexy, myself. I don’t beleive in “appropriate’ as you think, what does that mean.. skirts always proper to the knee, trousers and button up blouses? I love wearing OTK boots and mini skirt, leopard. i don’t really think of my age when dressing, just what I enjoy wearing that day. 🙂
jess xx
I am glad you changed it from age appropriate to who I am now. I love the new cold shoulder look but won’t wear a dress or top with them if I can’t wear a regular bra. Not because I care about my 68 years I care about comfort. I wish I were more forgiving when I see a woman in there 60’s dressed like they are 30, just because it fits doesn’t always mean you should wear it. It is what you said looking 30 from the back but the truth is on the front.
This blue and white dress is stunning! You look awesome in this dress. Thanks for hosting this partuy!
[…] the past year or so, I’ve noticed more and more pushback regarding ageism — especially in the marketing of women’s fashion. Many of us in the 50 + camp love fashion, […]
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