Uncover Your Deepest Desire: A Guide to Meaningful Change
Some years, I have been highly productive, others not so much. Many of us set goals at the beginning of the year, others create resolutions, and still others set intentions. Some years I gave up on the idea of setting goals at all. I’ve made vision boards, used guidewords, and focused on becoming the “person who” lived her best life and did everything I dreamed of. Through the years I’ve wondered why some years are better than others in terms of productivity, I started reading about goal setting and worked on incorporating the highly researched techniques into my life. I even hosted friends to make vision boards. We supported each other through the year, but even that fell by the wayside. I am back at the drawing board once again, and this is where I’ve landed:
The start of a new year is a perfect time for reflection and goal setting. However, I must confess, I often start thinking about setting goals in the fall. I don’t know why. But most people start in January. No matter the season you find yourself reading this, remember that it doesn’t matter when you start; the fact that you start is the most important step.
As we move from the “past year” into the “coming year”, it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of “new year’s resolutions” and “lofty goals”. But how many of us have set “specific goals” on “New Year’s Eve”, only to abandon them a few weeks later?
This “time of year” can feel both hopeful and overwhelming. The “end of the year” often brings a flood of emotions—gratitude for the “good things” we’ve experienced, regrets over missed opportunities, and a desire to start fresh. That’s why “setting intentions” rather than strict goals can lead to a more sustainable “lifestyle change”. Mind you, some would disagree on this. Some say that we either do or do not, there is no intention. This year, however, I am going to create a hybrid. Let’s see what happens.
Why Intentions, Not Strict Resolutions?
The *main difference* between *New Year intentions* and *strict resolutions* is flexibility. While *specific goals* focus on an *external outcome*, such as *weight loss* or landing a *new job*, *mindful intentions* center on how you want to feel and grow as a person.
In keeping with this philosophy, instead of saying, “I’ll lose 10 pounds by March,” you might set a larger intention like, “I’ll nourish my body with healthy food and movement that feels good.” This positive change allows room for real life without falling into a negative way of thinking if the end goal takes longer to achieve.
Others might argue that without a clear beginning and a clear point to navigate to, you will never get anywhere. So I will be working on something more methodical.
A New Approach to Goal Setting
Last year, I rediscovered a simple but effective method of setting goals. It begins with a list of desires—20 to be exact. From that list, you identify your *main desire or outcome* for the *coming year*.
This writing exercise gives you a clear idea of what matters most. Once you’ve chosen the most important things, you *reverse engineer* your goals, breaking them into *smaller steps*. Each day, you focus on the *first step* that moves the needle forward.
It sounds straightforward, right? And it is. But here’s where many of us—myself included—get stuck.
Why Do We Stop?
We’ve all been there. We create a vision board, write detailed action plans, and commit to smart goals. Yet by February, our New Year’s resolutions start to fade. Why?
One of the best things I’ve learned is that the only way to succeed is to address what’s holding us back internally. Negative thoughts, perfectionism or a lack of clarity can prevent us from taking the next step.
Another common trap is setting lofty goals without considering the smaller steps needed to achieve them. When we don’t see progress right away, it’s easy to lose motivation.
How to Set Intentions That Stick
This year, I’m focusing on *my most important desires* that are both meaningful and actionable. Here are some strategies I’ve found helpful:
1. Start Small
Instead of overwhelming yourself with big goals, break them down into smaller steps. For example, if your main desire is to spend more quality time with loved ones, begin by scheduling one meaningful activity each week.
2. Focus on the Present Moment
Mindful intentions are rooted in what you can do today. A daily reminder of your goals—whether through a sticky note, a journal, or a lifetracker planner—keeps your intentions alive in your daily life.
3. Tie Intentions to Core Values
Aligning your goals with your core values ensures they feel authentic. For example, if gratitude is a guiding principle in your life, you might start a beautiful ritual of writing down three good things that happened each day.
4. Give Yourself *Enough Time
Change doesn’t happen overnight. Whether you’re building new habits or pursuing a new job, allow yourself the mental space and grace to adjust to your current situation.
5. Celebrate Progress
Every step forward, no matter how small, deserves recognition. Celebrating smaller steps reinforces positive behavior and creates momentum.
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Create Your Own List of Desires
If you’re ready to start this year of growth with new goals, here’s a simple way to get started:
1. Make a list of desires for the areas of your life that matter most—career, health, relationships, or creativity.
2. Choose your main desire for the coming year.
3. Break it down into smaller steps.
4. Commit to one specific desire each day, using a to-do list to track progress. Tracking progress by checking off each day you have worked on your desire is a great way to build working on your desires into a habit.
The Role of Rituals in Working on Your Desires
Incorporating a special ritual into your goal-setting practice can be transformative. Whether it’s lighting a candle, meditating, or journaling, these moments create a sacred space for reflection.
For example, a yoga teacher might use a writing exercise to explore how their goals align with their core values. Or, you might dedicate a few minutes each morning to envision your best version of the day ahead.
These rituals remind us that the present tense is where all positive change begins.
Moving Forward with Confidence
As we step into the start of a new year, remember that the best way to achieve lasting change isn’t through rigid plans but through consistent, intentional actions.
Whether your goal is to build a healthy lifestyle, nurture relationships, or create a place of gratitude in your home, the journey begins with a single word: commitment.
So, what’s your first step?
This new year, let’s embrace the power of Desire setting—not as a task to complete, but as a journey to live fully and authentically.
Let’s make this year of growth one to remember.
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