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When Should You Ditch A Cherished Dream?

02/18/2022 · In: Morning Musings

Disney Princesses

I’ve dreamed many delicious dreams. Held them close. Cherished them fondly. Some I’ve pursued with great vigor, while others crumbled as I tried to hold them in my hands. Some of my dreams have come to fruition, while others never got off the ground.

I am just coming out of a long period of dreams fading and shifting. I have had to re-calibrate, to let go, to start new. It’s hard to let go of dreams, even when we can see they no longer bring us joy or simply haven’t gotten off the ground. Sometimes we encounter barriers, or brick walls; these are clues that we might need to spend a little bit of time looking under the hood to see what’s really going on or chart a new course, maybe.

The truth is, some dreams simply aren’t for us. They are great to think about from a hammock on a warm summer’s day but not for our real lives. Dreams can grow dull over time, losing their luster. We may have pursued other people’s dreams and overtime, lose heart. Knowing when to let go and move on can be tricky. Being a card carrying member of the “Help I’m Stuck” club, I know this intimately.

I have learned to embrace the lessons of my dreams rather than shun them. I have learned that brick walls are important teachers. I’ve learned to ask the hard questions to see what is working and what is not. Dreams can be full of imagery that can be very hard to decipher. We think we want one thing on the surface, but deep down, we want something else entirely. Seeking the truth what lies beneath the surface helps us navigate to the places that bring us joy, success and fulfillment.

Thinking about the essence of the dream, the why, what’s really at play–is this something that needs to be moved to the fun category rather than a money making venture, for example. Have I discovered this really isn’t for me? Do I only like one part of it, but hate the rest? Am I headed down a rabbit hole, here? Does pursuing this dream fill me with joy? Do I need help from others?

Bringing your dreams to life is a whole other subject…stepping up, stepping forward…the excitement, the fear, everything all at once. I’ve learned to set goals, establish mile stones, begin with the end in mind and work backwards to where I am standing. I have learned not to place the success of my dreams in other people’s hands–like winning a skating completion, for example–you and another skater can do perfect performances, and it comes down to the judge as to who wins. I don’t do that any more. The goal is no longer just to win the competition, it is the experience of doing my best all the way along. To learn and grow stronger. It’s the little picture, moment by moment and the big picture, becoming the best skater I can be, all at the same time. It’s being realistic about my prospects, (clearly, this 58 year old is not going to compete in the Olympics–but there are other amazing and fulfilling things I can do within the skating world–finding my niche—or just enjoying the sport–that’s what I am going for).

We all find ourselves at crossroads from time to time. Whether charting a new course, giving a old dream a makeover or renewing our resolve, this is the stuff of life, moment by moment, the little picture and the big picture all at one time, just living it, not holding anything too tightly–that’s where the joy, success and sweetness of live really is, and where our dreams really come true. UPDATED 2/17/2022

At a Crossroads, White E'Etoile Tennis Dress

Sometimes, we need help working our way through various issues in our lives. I have turned to therapy several times along my path to healing. Recently, I learned about Better Help, an online non-emergency mental health program that pairs you with an online therapist. It’s completely confidential and because it’s all done online you don’t have to worry about going in for an appointment. Click HERE for more information. *this is an affiliate link

By: Nina · In: Morning Musings · Tagged: #achieving goals, #new beginnings, almost empty nest, compassion, dreaming, goal setting, sharing a journey, When to ditch a dream, when to let go

About Nina

Sharing A Journey is an award winning blog for women "of a certain age" who love life and style with a little inspiration mixed in. The blog and it's author Nina Anders has been featured in notable publications including Forbes, Next Avenue, Thrive Global and Parade. Photos by RSEsteyphotography Let's do midlife together!

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Comments

  1. jodie filogomo says

    06/14/2017 at 1:01 PM

    You bring up a great point Nina!! I think instead of hitting our head against that brick wall–it’s good to figure out another path at times!!
    Jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
    Ps..your top photo is sideways!!

    Reply
  2. Annemarie Moore says

    06/14/2017 at 5:21 PM

    Yes I think we need to know when to replace the dream. Excellent reminder.

    Reply
  3. Emma Peach says

    06/27/2017 at 10:10 AM

    I think sometimes we get blinkered and end up following a path that doesn’t necessarily suit us any more. Pausing to re-evaluate every so often is worthwhile. Letting go is hard, but clinging on is harder in the long run.

    Emma xxx
    http://www.style-splash.com

    Reply
  4. Rosemary Davis says

    02/18/2022 at 7:35 AM

    Very insightful post, Nina.
    it is true that we must realize that all dreams will not become reality. As we would not want them to. Because we are in a constant spiral of growth and change.
    Knowing when to let go is a challenge we all face.

    Rosemary
    http://www.DistinctlySouthernStyle.com

    Reply

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2025 is my year for a Glo Up starting with my skin 2025 is my year for a Glo Up starting with my skin care routine. I just started using the ZIIP Halo on my 65 year old skin.  Cant wait to see the results. #livingmybestlife #over60andfabulous #over50model #over65skincare @ziipbeauty
This week’s mini adventures had us in one of my This week’s mini adventures had us in one of my favorite spots-Dunedin Florida. We went for coffee and croissants at @dunedincoffeecompany where they have amazing coffee and a real in house bakery. Every so often the baker comes through with delicious creations right from the ovens. We went for some design inspiration @lrhome their shop never disappoints then on to the book shop. That made us hungry so we had to go to  @casatinas. How could you not?#livingmybestlife #over60andfabulous #over50womenoninstagram #over50style #outfitoftheday #over50model
I've been making a point to spend a lot less time I've been making a point to spend a lot less time on screens this year. It's been amazing how much free time I have to enjoy new hobbies and spending time with friends and family. I even tried my hand at painting with a Time For Art kit and actually made this sweet dolphin painting. I was surprised how easy it was even for someone like me who has very little painting experience. I loved how the kits came with everything I needed to make the painting, and I when I needed help, I watched a video on the Time for Art website. I thought it would be fun to host some friends for a girls painting night, invitations are in the mail--plus it would make a perfect gift. Be sure to check out @timeforartlive--I will link all their info in my link tree.
For the next 65 Days I am challenging myself to ch For the next 65 Days I am challenging myself to change a few bad habits and prioritize health, friendships and activities that enhance happiness and creativity.  I am looking forward to going into 65 and beyond healthier and happier than ever before. I hope you’ll join me over the next 65 days by choosing something you’d like to improve or a habit you’d like to break and see where it leads. #over50womenoninstagram #over60andfabulous #livingmybestlife
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