Waging War on the term “Anti-Aging”
Recently, I received a gift of skincare items to try, geared for women my age. They were right up my alley, addressing many of my concerns. I plan to do a series of reviews on the products, but in the interim, I contemplate what I’d call the articles because I hate labels like “anti-aging” “turning back the hands of time” and “fountain of youth” which are normally associated with skin care for mature women.
While I look forward to using the products and sharing my thoughts, I am looking for imagery more in keeping with my experience of middle age: celebrating the gifts that age brings rather than essentially waging war against our very biology and natural changes in our bodies as mature women.
“Aging isn’t an illness, it’s a natural process.”
If you asked people in their fifties and beyond do they want to be younger, most say “no thanks”. I am happy being 58, which is why I bristle at the whole notion of fighting a natural process through which all living beings pass. Aging isn’t an illness, it’s a process. A process that brings richness and gifts. Gifts one wouldn’t notice or appreciate if embroiled in a fictitious battle with aging.
I don’t want to look “younger;” I want to look healthy, radiant, and vibrant which is how I feel inside. I recognize that there are some who don’t appreciate the look of a middle-aged woman. That’s their prerogative—even if it is a bit unhealthy, in my opinion. I want to spend my time with people who are comfortable with themselves and the natural course of life anyway.
This is not to say I am against taking care of one’s self or our natural desire to be beautiful and sexy. Nor am I against a few tweaks here and there from the doctor if it makes you feel better. I love good skincare and wear makeup almost every day. I am an ardent believer in taking care of our bodies by eating properly and exercising. I look for products that help maintain the health of my skin and hair. Rather than waging an “anti-aging” campaign, I prefer to nurture myself with love, not war.
…And yes, there are physical challenges as we age, having been very athletic most of my life—there is no question I was stronger and more flexible even a few years ago, in spite of the fact that I lift weights, ice skate, and do yoga daily. After skating for two hours I am tired and in need of a nap, but rather than hanging my skates up because I am “old” and might get hurt, I have found deep enjoyment in challenging myself and working hard to improve my skills and endurance.
When it comes to my inner being, I have more clarity, am healthier, wiser, or more in tune with the world around me–and it’s not just me–I see it in other women my age too. If others choose not to take advantage of the experience, insights, and intuition of mature women because they think we’re too old or irrelevant, that’s their loss.
Up until recently, most marketing to my age group centered around “anti-aging” memes. However, in recent months things have changed a tick or two. It seems to throw a few token women in their 70s into the media mix has become a “thing”. Featuring a former model on a magazine cover, sprinkling two or three older models on the runway, or in print ads, and venerating older actresses is now “cool” and “edgy”. “They’ve defied the aging process!” “The epitome of anti-aging!” “So inspiring!” Some exclaim. Frankly, it feels a little patronizing to me. It’s as if a woman being beautiful, or accomplished in middle age is a freak of nature.
And, we keep seeing the same small handful of models and actresses held up as role models as if they are the only ones who managed to keep their look current. Look around, people! There are stunning, fashionable, accomplished middle-aged women everywhere–and they are wealthy, healthy, love good things, and are in search of adventure. The huge 50+ female demographic has been written off, is not even remotely understood, and is being patronized and/or completely ignored.
“The irony of Helen Miren showing up on the cover of Allure after you canceled your subscription, is just too funny” -Roger, my partner, and photographer, this morning over coffee.
When I saw that Allure Magazine decided to ban “anti-aging” slogans in their magazine, with a photo of Helen Miren on the cover, I had to laugh. I just canceled my subscription—over the past year I found little interest in articles about young celebrities and gossip—the magazine is no longer geared to makeup in general, but to the twenty-something set who are getting Botox and facelifts as preemptive strikes against aging. During the past year, I can’t recall a single article that related to an age group over thirty, and that goes for most all magazines on the stands these days.
Maybe mainstream media are right to focus their efforts on the young. Truth be told, I am not looking for the media to define me anymore anyway. I have found a group of real women sharing life experiences, fashion and beauty who are more inspiring and relatable than anyone I’ve been seeing in mainstream media. While it has taken a bit of effort to find them, I am grateful for their authenticity, wisdom, insight, and inspiring style.
My friends and I refuse to fight what is and can only be a losing battle against our very biology—which the term anti-aging seems to be encouraging, rather, we are celebrating lives well lived, letting go of things that no longer serve us, and beginning new chapters in life complete with adventure, mystery, and even romance. (And we want to look great doing it!) If I were to wage any battle at all, it would be against the term “anti-aging” but frankly, I’m just too busy.
Nina, this is a great post and so right on! I want to look my best and healthiest regardless of my age…and that is only a number!
Thanks Michelle!
You have no idea how much I’m cheering for you over here. I hate it that wrinkles and silver hair can’t be a sign of dignity. Be healthy, yes, but your body wears down and that’s okay. It is part of the cycle of life and I see no reason why it should receive any less celebratory treatment than the years of youth.
Thank you for joining the Thursday Moda link up!
Mary
https://www.themarycurator.com/
Thank you so much! http://Www.themarycurator.com is a stunning blog!
Thanks for joining the Top of the World Style linkup party with your post. It’s important to take care of your body. It is the only place you live in.
I love your perspective here! And you look awesome.
Thank you so much April! Thank you for stopping by!
Wow! What an amazing post! I shared it on Google+ because everyone needs to read this! I couldn’t agree more! I always struggle understanding why advertisers cater to the young. I was so broke when I was in my twenties, thirties. I bought my cosmetics at Walmart, never bought anything new to wear, never went anywhere. Now I shop at Sephora, buy new clothes almost every week, and travel extensively…yet, the advertisers don’t care about me. It makes no sense.
Same! Lived pay check to pay check with $5 often to the next pay check back in my early twenties. If advertisers only knew the gold mine they would have if they figured us out, right? But maybe being mysterious and flying under their radar has it’s advantages?
I’ve felt like this for years. A billboard near my home (for a plastic surgery clinic) used the headline, “Aging is Optional.” I understand the allure of youthful beauty, but the challenge of the 2nd half is to let that go and not waste current blessings. I love your powerful perspective.
Thank you so much, Lynne!
You look fabulous, and it was about time Allure featured Helen Mirren. I’ve always been fascinated women who kick ass despite their ages, and Hollywood’s obsession with Youth was harming even 30+ actresses. While I’m not against the notion of looking younger, I love that you added vibrant and healthy to the mix. And essentially, those two matter the most.
Thank you for your comment! We have been watching European television for about three years now. I see women of all ages featured and very few have had “work”done. It seems the obsession with youth is an American Hollywood phenomenon.
Wow I absolutely love this!! Definitely going to share with my mom. We were just talking about this the other day!
Thank you so much!
Nina,
At least we all want to look and feel our best as we get older.
But the beauty industry relies on us to find the fountain of youth in skincare and the pharmaceutical industry wants us to take it a bit farther.
I am wearing my wrinkles and my body has changed because I gained a few pounds, but it’s up to me to decide how I want to look and feel as a 60 year old woman.
I am okay with me today but I don’t want to stop looking & feeling the best that I can possibly be when I wake up in the morning and see Dame Helen on the cover of Allure.
Hugs,
Robin
Thank you, Robin! Glad you stopped by–you are such a beauty along with being a talented designer–gosh! I love your work–wish you could stop by and fix up my place–great blogger and a wonderful mom–you inspire me. Hugs! Nina
Hi Nina, I completely agree with you and I have written about this very thing on my blog often. I am pleased to find someone who agrees…and I love your look!
Thanks Pam!
Aging is a gift to me and not many live to enjoy being over 60. All of us must live to enjoy the life we have. I enjoyed reading this post and will be back to read more. . .
Thank you, Neti! Looking forward to getting to know you!
Love your last sentence – fabulous!! You’ve written some great home truths here, and I agree whole-heartedly. Thanks for sharing. x Jacqui
http://www.mummabstylish.com
PS keep going with the skating – I’ve started ballet again and love it, at 53 being nearly the youngest in the class! X
Thanks Jacqui! I do a little ballet too!
Brilliant post Nina! I completely agree with you; none of us can stop the ageing process (unless we die, and I don’t fancy that option) so why fight it? We can do whatever possible to stay healthy, happy and look good, but stopping the clock isn’t an option. Actually, I’m happier now than I was 10, 20 years ago. I’m increasingly turning away from magazines, they just don’t represent me or speak to me any more. I’d much rather read blogs and connect with real people.
Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com
Me too! Thank you for your comment!
Nina, this is the most fabulous post I have read all week! Just as I read the title, I immediately thought “Ooh this is gonna be good!” My thoughts exactly…I want to age. I am enjoying the aging process and all of the fabulous things that come with it. Why in the world would I want to stop the amazing process and the fantastic journey that is aging?! You have stated it all marvelously! Thank you so much for writing this post! And thanks for joining my #SpreadTheKindness Link Up!
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeontheedge.com
Yes. I want to feel and look healthy and radiant and graciously know what season of life I am in!
And you are radiant and living well! I see you having so much fun, and I am so happy for you.