I Learned How to Tame A Man Last Year. Here’s the 411

Anyone who as ever tried to write anything has experienced a “staring at the blank page” moment, wondering what to write, hoping the blank page will somehow begin a conversation that will lead the writer to a brilliant story.  

Well friends. There I was, staring at a blank screen, waiting for the brilliance, when, from the corner of the lobby (see picture above), came a voice.  

…A man’s voice…

Asking what I was doing up so early, and then, whether I knew what he was doing.  A quick glance at his garb and open lap top lead me to say,

“You are writing a book.” 

“I’ve written two books,” he said, with a slight shocked pause followed by an exasperated eye roll. He may have been just a bit disappointed that I guessed correctly, right off.  Hoping I’d be impressed, he went on with a convoluted description of his book schooling women on how to have healthy relationships with men, and, close your ears, the book has vagina in the title.  (He literally said “close your ears” and after that, I couldn’t remember the rest of the title, sorry.)

Three chapters are published somewhere on My Space, in case you want to check it out though.  

Does anyone still use My Space?  

He said he is an expert on male female relationships, and to reach his full book publishing potential, he needed the woman of his dreams by his side.  He’d had one, back in 2004, but she turned out to be his half sister, whom he still felt would he would like to marry, if she would just say “yes”. Unfortunately she needs more time and doesn’t really understand him.

The half sister part…I’m not sure that’s legal, is it?…

He said that if his father’s name wasn’t on her birth certificate it would  legal for them to marry…right?

Wouldn’t that mean they weren’t half siblings, though?

They hadn’t gone far enough to check it out her birth certificate. Oh well, she’s not ready anyway.  

So guess what? He’s available.

…and he’s an author! He had not published either of his books he said, because he was concerned about fending off all the women who would come clawing toward him once he dispensed his wisdom and was successful. (He made clawing motions as he shared this tidbit).

What man would want that after all?  

I didn’t come away without some valuable nuggets:  He shared the secret of taming a man’s anger: We shouldn’t be afraid, he said. A man just wants to be understood and have all his feelings, all his thoughts and all his actions validated, something a man’s mother won’t do, but a good woman will.  

I also got advice as to what a woman shouldn’t say when a man is angry: Don’t tell him he needs to go back on his medication, or that he’s drunk. Luckily, I’ve never had to say either of those things to my man. 

…But it’s good to know…

When it comes to choosing the right guy for yourself, you need to pay attention to the type of guy you are getting and don’t expect him to be different than men are…because that’s really stupid. (His words, not mine.)

…I kind of think I get that one…

Oddly, the interaction was  supposed to be a pickup, but when I didn’t encourage him to share more, he loudly packed is lap top and scurried off.  But not before telling me I was a courageous woman.  Most women, he said, wouldn’t listen to him. I was just avoiding the fact that I didn’t know what to write about this morning…and look where it got me.

Technically, I didn’t actually talk to him; he talked to me.  But he shared all I needed to know about him, bless his heart.

We women know all too well how unpleasant it is to deal with unwanted advances, and the feelings of vulnerability we can experience when we are alone with someone unusual.  Walking that line is something we  are accustomed to; learning the fine art of being somewhat pleasant, but not encouraging, so as not to upset the man, but not so pleasant that he thinks there is interest.  And while this guy left disappointed, he wasn’t angry…luckily. 

At least he told me what not to say if he had been.

Mature Style: Summer Shapewear for Women Over 50

Spring Dresses for Women Over 50