Moving Forward With Life: Thoughts on the New Normal

In the newsletter, I’ve been writing about my thoughts on “re-opening” the country; in a nut shell, I’m not sure.  Clearly, some areas are seriously burdened by the spread of the virus,  while other areas are untouched, and it seems silly for people in those areas to be quarantined.  On the other hand, will the virus spread rampantly if we reopen too soon?  

We don’t have as much information as I’d like on the virus, how it spreads, a-symptomatic carriers, and the ACTUAL numbers we are dealing with.  As we have progressed through this crisis, one of the hardest things to cope with, besides the obvious, is the fact that we really need good information to make good decisions, and those good statistics are seriously lacking. 

So, I plan to rely on a combination of the guidelines, and my instincts to navigate this and keep my  fingers crossed. We are not all in the same boat, even though we are weathering the same storm.  

To me, there’s more to re-opening than just turning on the lights and putting out the open sign.  You’ve followed me long enough to know that there would have to be that introspective moment, those pesky questions mostly centered around how we, as in you and I are going to use what we’ve learned to craft better lives for ourselves going forward.

As an introvert who spends a lot of time at home, the “safer at home” part hasn’t been hard.  I did have a minor melt down over not being able to grocery shop for myself; and I worry over my daughter’s desire to move back to her own place.  I worry about the country in general; and my friends with older parents who are at high risk for the disease and those who live in the big cities where the virus is still a serious problem.

But let’s shift our thoughts a little, to  what we’ve learned about ourselves, our values and our lifestyles.  I imagine that there are things that will need a good rethink.  As I look at my own life, here are a few thoughts on my new normal:

Thoughts on our New Normal:

Preparedness: 

I discovered that while we prepare for hurricanes each year, and were ok on food stuffs, I didn’t have enough cleaning products, such as alcohol, Clorox wipes, lysol disinfectant spray and Purelle.   We don’t have much in the way of medicines either.   The three packages of toilet paper we had on hand was sufficient, but we definitely increased our paper towel usage with everyone being home, wiping down counters and sinks with Clorox spray multiple times a day.  Now we will be adding those things plus some face masks to our list of things to keep on hand.  Did you find similar things you realized you are missing for emergencies? Also, have you thought about maintaining more supplies ongoing?

Setting Aside Plans: 

One of the first things I noticed was feeling anxious over the time line we had been working with regarding our future plans.  I am one who loves planning, so being in a holding pattern felt really strange and uncomfortable.  BUT, I decided to use the time to appreciate where we are right now, and really drill down to the present, rather than thinking into the future so much.

Rethinking Values: 

I notice people re-evaluating what is really important to them, as well as going to a slower way of being.  For example, enjoying putting together puzzles, playing cards and reading books…things we are often too busy to do.  Many of my friends are cooking more and enjoying the feeling of nurturing their families.

Appreciation: 

There was a well written piece floating around Facebook about our not being in the same boat, though we are all battling the same storm.  I really felt it was an important distinction to consider.  We often say “Yeah, we’re all in the same boat.”  But we aren’t really.  We all have certain vulnerabilities, some more stress inducing than others, as well as our ability to cope.  I notice I am more appreciative of my life and lifestyle now. I guess when certain things seem to be taken away, it gives us some space to see what’s actually there, and for that I am grateful and appreciative.

An Opportunity for a “do different”

I saw a post written by a woman who is going through a difficult time in her marriage.  At her new husband’s request, the two moved away from the rest of her family.  She discovered how much she missed her children, and the truth about the man she’d married; he had purposely moved her away from her children and friends. He wasn’t the shining knight she thought she’d married.  Being completely isolated with him shone light on dynamics she had not seen previously.  It’s unsettling to make these discoveries, and it’s never a good time to contemplate divorce, most especially right now, but it is time to possibly plan for a “do different” as we move into a more mobile situation again.

Grief:

I think it’s important to acknowledge we may be experiencing grief and that it is a natural process. Remember the five stages? Denial, Anger, Depression, Bargaining, and Acceptance. They can happen in a different order, or you may experience some phases more than others. When this whole thing started, (for us in February, I thought it was’t going to be much of a “thing” near the end of the month, we decided to shop a little, and apparently others had the same idea. In our stores, there was already a run on cleaning supplies. Those of you who get the newsletter know I was definitely angry, and there may have been a little bargaining, especially around my plans. I didn’t feel particularly depressed, and now I do feel a sense of acceptance. How did you do? Can you see where you are?

Moving Forward:

As I wrap up this post on our new normal, stay at home has been lifted here in our area in Florida and we have begun to make our way around some. It’s been a mixed bag. Some people practice social distancing and mask wearing, but most don’t. What about you?

If you are struggling with all that is going on, you are not alone. I found this resource that may help:

Sometimes, we need help working our way through various issues in our lives. I have turned to therapy several times along my path to healing. Recently, I learned about Better Help, an on line non emergency mental health program that pairs you with an on line therapist. It’s completely confidential and because it’s all done on line you don’t have to worry about going in for an appointment. Click HERE for more information. *this is an affiliate link

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Sometimes, we need help working our way through various issues in our lives. I have turned to therapy several times along my path to healing. Recently, I learned about Better Help, an on line non emergency mental health program that pairs you with an on line therapist. It’s completely confidential and because it’s all done on line you don’t have to worry about going in for an appointment. Click HERE for more information. *this is an affiliate link